Reflection

As I start to wind down and towards my departure, these entries become less adventurous and more reflective, which means I can combine two days into one entry. Sunday I tried to think of something to do but could not come up with anything I wanted to do. I had done everything I wanted to do here and I did not want to spend taxi fare and entry fee into a museum that I wasn't interested in just for the sake of doing something. The place I found online for a massage is not open Sunday or Monday so I called to make an appointment today (left a message on their machine) and hopefully will go on Wednesday afternoon. So I hung around the house doing nothing significant until Mike decided to teach me how to through an (American) football. After about 5 minutes Mike said I've improved 193%. So that was fun. Then Mike, Derek, and I went into little Mowbray for some happy hour drinks at 4. We shared a jug of margarita, however, it was quite strong. We estimated the jug to be about a litre a half and that it had 10 shots of tequila in it. It was too much for me and I felt ill for awhile, but recovered soon after. It could have been the braai earlier that despite our attempts to keep the flies away, they landed on everything, so maybe the tequila helped kill something in my stomach as I had not been feeling wonderful throughout the afternoon.

About 15 of us decided to go to La Med to see Goldfish play in concert. I loved it, but many of the new volunteers are still jet lagged and suffering a bit of culture shock so they were exhausted early. I think they wanted to go out but their body did not. I enjoyed 2 bottles of Savannah Dry and 1 bottle of something similar to Smirnoff Ice (but wasn't made by Smirnoff). I drank the latter one too fast and became all silly and bubbly (beyond my normal self). I quite enjoyed my last Sunday night out.

This past weekend has been intense, with 25 new volunteers arriving. I have gone out of my way to help them and answer every question to the best of my ability so everyone knows my name, yet I am still working on their names. It does feel nice to be in seniority, to be asked questions and have a reputation of “knowing everything”. I am comfortable with the house, the people, my placement and my routine here that I try to be a good role model of a volunteer here. I hope in my short one week with them I have helped them through the crazy part of arrival and orientation. The first week is the most intense and I love helping any way I can.

Speaking of which, I helped bring in all the leftover food from the braai yesterday while the rest of the staff enjoyed their lunch break. I needed something to distract myself from thoughts of Saturday and so to keep busy I chose to clean up lunch. Nolundi and Bongi kept trying to make me stop whilst they sat at the porch, calling “Katewe (kah-tea-way), that's enough.” “Stop Katewe.” “Thank you, Katewe, but please stop.” Katewe is the Xhosa name the staff gave me. It means “chosen one” just like every other Xhosa name. Apparently half the names in Xhosa mean chosen one. I appreciate the gesture very much.

Today started my last week at Scalabrini and many people, staff and refugees, did not want me to leave. They keep telling me that they hope I miss my flight! So mean, yet so nice to know how much they care about me. I will miss all of them. No one can believe I've been here 3 months already. It's almost as if I have to bring in my passport to show them the date it was stamped and the date my visa expires. I am trying to take pictures of everyone this week to make sure I have a picture of everybody. I still have to finish my thank you cards. I have about 20 to write. As for my job at Scalabrini, I'm sure I've trained Jenny well and tomorrow I'll train Brooke (another CCS volunteer). I am trying to make the hole left by my departure as small as possible.

I never thought much about my departure, mostly because I never wanted to think about leaving, but I am trying to make it a smooth transition. The trouble with saying hello is someday you'll have to say goodbye. And goodbye can be the most painful word. Especially when you have no idea how long the goodbye is for. I hope to come back, but I have no idea where life will take me so I have to say goodbye as if it is forever and hope that it is not. We will email back and forth, but I do not think it will last long, unfortunately. People get busy, people move on, that is the way life works. But forever the time we have had together will remain in my heart. I am a changed person, I am a better person, and being here was worth all the hours I spent collecting soda cans and returning them for the deposit money, all the time spent writing letters and trying to raise money. I have changed so many lives in many ways that I will never know. I can just smile and thank everyone for everything as I leave and let the tears fall in happiness for everything that has transpired over the last 3 months rather than in sadness for the departure from friends.